Byrdhouse

Today is Your Day Off

Hello Kev, it's June 15th, 2008. It's an otherwise normal Sunday aside from being your very first Father's Day. I'll admit that as I write this (reflecting as one does on such hallmark occasions), I'm astonished most by the fact that I've even made the time to write you. Other musings and pursuits have been on the front burner. I just want you to know a few things:

You now have a baby girl with Florrie, a fine woman who has held your hand for some six years now. She's walking in Candler Park today with your daughter Annabelle, Mom and Gigi. Though she was concerned with the burden of walking to the car with a stroller and a mammoth dog in tow, she didnt even quip when you intentionally did not volunteer to assist like you normally do in these instances. It's as if she's whispering, "be self-indulged today hon," by not saying anything at all.

And so you write and work on a summer CHIRP mix and think about how Annabelle is fast approaching three months. She's smiling, speaking mumblecore and getting fat thighs, and oh gawd do you love that.

There are several mini projects in various stages of development to mention.

You've started wrangling Flickr images tagged with "friedchicken" and/or "waffles." It's simply called Fried Chicken and Waffles. Your next step is to arrange this gallery into a limited edition hardback celebrating... well, you guessed it.

There's a 35mm E6 slide light casing you're working on too, inspired by Grayson's Slide Lamp. It's your first time experimenting with laser cut acrylic. 

The Monster Quest motion-sensing wilderness camera you got is still in test-mode. One day you hope to attach it to a fence and make a photography series on people picking up after their dogs. (Like I said, it's still in test-mode.)

Oh and that oil painting of Gigi for Annabelle's room; it's on its way. She is one stately explorer of the Alaskan tundra, just like you all dreamed. Do compare the image vs the painting:

You're working at Armchair, and you love it. 

OK the call just came. The ride is here to go to for brunch. 

Talk soon, 

Kevin

Towels and Cans of La Croix

“Towels and Cans of La Croix” For sale, by artist. Alternate view here. This is from the installation series self-indulgently entitled, "Things I gather in the floorboard of my car"

Note to Self

Anusol® is not the same thing as Anbesol®

Phonebook Phone Table

Click To Play

Schooner Names

Possible names for the sailboat you will likely never own:
1. Bloody Murder
2. Flash 2018
3. Mayonaise
4. Flamethrower
5. Vlad The Impaler

The sailing race competitors:
Osiris, Perseus, Gliss, Lady Goodgirl, Savvy, Parlay, Klosters, Georgia, Kaori, Maltese Falcon, Captain Earl, Moon Glow, Lone Ranger, Limitless, Gotcha (Too), Hyperion, Sojan, Highland Breeze, Whisper, Rebecca, Parsifal, Atlanta, Kokamo

Octopus Hands

In high school you branched off from your buddy's band and started your own solo act. You swore on 1700's French court attire (think Amadeus). Octopus tentacles instead of hands peeked from your coat's sleeves, as you tapped your Casio with such a focused intensity, completely oblivious to the mostly inaccurate notes the tentacled fingers produced. Your music was very hard to listen to, but your live shows were amazing to witness.

Smoking Policy

Are you a retailer who sells clothing of that distressed, dirty variety? Smoking Lounge™ is a new scented aerosol that smells just like your chain-smoking uncle. A single spray and any seemingly well-worn pair of jeans transforms into a round olfactory experience. Your customers will come to clammer after that 20th-century smoker aesthetic.

For the outdoor retailer we have Campfire Story™, a scent much as if you sat by a campfire last night, eating ramen noodles. Let those racks of hi-tech flannel-replacement shirts absorb it, like, well flannel. Buyers will be camping outside your store.

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The Spectrum Diet*

We are talking about a seven-day eating regime like no other that has marched across America, passed from mother to daughter, and is currently being tested by a large group of mildly overweight people. We are talking about the spectrum diet.

On Monday, we eat in red. Tomatoes, apples, tuna tartar, red peppers, pepperoni and raspberries. Tuesday is orange like cantaloupe and salmon. And well, oranges. Wednesday is yellow. Thursday, green. Friday is nothing but blueberries! Eggplant, plums and grapes are for Saturday. Sunday you fast. But maybe you do pink. (Florrie interjected and said to put in pink.) The real spectrum diet purest fasts though. I mean, come on, pink grapefruit and shrimp? Sheez.

*Working title, results may vary.

Briefbox / Boomcase

Larry Luk at Epidemik Coalition helped me create this briefbox. He screen printed me's illustration of an eighties blaster on an old briefcase I likes to carry rounds. Photos by John.